I love how protests in hundreds of cities across the globe become “dozens of cities” when the New York Times reports it. In other news, Exxon-Mobil made hundreds of dollars in profits last year, and I’m a few ounces overweight.
NYT David Brooks: 1st Draft of “Milquetoast Radicals”
David Brooks’ column on Tuesday about the Occupy Wall Street protests can be read here. Here’s what the first draft probably looked like:
The Wussy Radicals (first draft)
The U.S. economy is probably going to stink for a few more years, thought not for me. It will stink for many reasons (NOTE: list some Economist magazine type stuff here, but no details or evidence. It definitely won’t stink because of corporate control over every f*cking thing, so leave that out).
We can’t fix our short-term problems, so let’s relax and take the winter to do all the good things we can to help our economy in the long term: cut corporate taxes and aid to the poor, privatize public education, and make it harder for people to vote so the economic recovery to come is right in line with what business wants. (NOTE: Maybe that last bit should just read “electoral reform.”)
Unfortunately, the country hasn’t done anything beyond some freaky, fringe, small-time crap.
Take the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) movement, started by the Jew-hating Adbusters magazine, which hates Jews.
OWS claims 99% of society is totally being screwed over by the top 1%, who are the people I happen to live next door to and party with. So the 99% are totally playing the victim, like they’ve got it soooo bad.
Besides, you can’t solve anything when you divide people based on something so trivial as income, control, wealth, and unaccountable power. Talk about small and insignificant!
The protesters have NADA to say about anything important, and even if they did (which they do, but I’m totally ignoring that), they wouldn’t be anywhere near as wise as me. I’m the man.
Besides, taxing the rich isn’t going to solve the deficit, and the deficit is the only thing responsible people care about. I know, the general public doesn’t care about the deficit, but we’re not talking about what the general public wants – we’re talking about the country! (NOTE: write that in a way that doesn’t make me sound like a total d***).
I know these OWS people seem “radical.” But they are totally not. They all hate capitalism, and a bunch of them love Al-Qaeda (who hate our freedom). Also, they have no plan.
Plus if their only solution is to raise taxes on the 1% – I have no real evidence for this, but pretending this is what they want will help my argument, so just bear with me – that’s like totally small stuff. Won’t help anything.
So where are the real radicals? You guessed it – responsible, moderate elites like me! This one guy in the very-responsible Washington Post mentioned slashing corporate taxes, more military power, and something about a really pissed-off free market! These ideas are much bigger than the protesters’ ideas! Like, Pinochet-big!
So don’t be fooled by the fake-radical-freakshow on the news. The most radical people today are the elites who still believe – against all evidence to the contrary (they are so radical) – the system can be changed through minor reforms, behind closed doors, by responsible, boring men in suits.
That’s what I think, and because I think it, it must be right.
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